Achieve Grandiose Goals

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“If you take a step-by-step perspective, then you will not get discouraged in accomplishing something grandiose.” Matt Gamache-Asselin, Co-founder and CEO of ScriptDash, a modern pharmacy.

Speaking to my Leadership Communication class at San Francisco State University, Matt shared advice about leading his start up ScriptDash.

He said when they started the company they had this grand vision of creating a new modern pharmacy, but the task seemed daunting and he remembers being overwhelmed at the thought of reaching that goal. He said that changed over time after he started just taking one step at a time. The first step was just to put up a website and have it such that somebody could order the prescription online. That was a step he and his co-founders could handle. The next up was when someone placed an order, actually getting that prescription to them. That too was a step they could handle. Matt discovered that after handling many of these steps one after another and solely focusing on what was directly in front of them, that the series of relatively simple steps added up to accomplishing the big goal.

In leadership communication academic terms, we call this fractionation. Fractionation is breaking up a big problem into smaller problems that can be handled. Fractionation helps because when the problem is in smaller, less complex pieces, people often feel more comfortable confronting specific and defined issues. Often times when broken down, each piece carries less emotional weight.

While Matt doesn’t know this term since his education is in engineering, not communication, he explained this technique for a big project like starting a company. But it can also be used for any size problem. For example if a team is having issues with completing a task, that problem can be broken down into smaller elements in order to be solved. In the case of a team that is failing to complete their stated goal, the problem could be broken down into items such as compatibility of communication styles, available resources, cohesiveness of schedules, and capabilities of team members. Each of these items could be addressed separately as a relatively simple solution, and then after several steps the entire problem will be solved.

The point is that we should not let the initial perceived complexity of a goal hinder our enthusiasm. Because, as Matt says, “Many things in life are difficult, but very little is not possible.”

Consciously Resolve Conflict

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While we know conflict is part of life, it still can catch us by surprise and throw us off our ‘conscious communicator’ game. To stay present and bring our best selves forward when conflict arises we need to be knowledgeable and practice being present with discomfort.

In terms of being knowledgeable, there is both understanding the nature of conflict resolution and being prepared to face a specific conflict.

Let’s review conflict basics. There are four elements necessary for conflict: opposing forces, interdependence, affect or emotions, and perceived differences. It is helpful to remember that there needs to be an interdependence in order for there to be a conflict in the first place; there is a connection at some level between the conflicting parties that you can use to help solve the conflict. The word ‘perceived’ is also a key part of the definition because perceptions can change, and as perceptions change options for resolving conflict can arise.

Now, let’s consider the five styles used in approaching conflict set out by Kilmann & Thomas:

  1. Avoidance – passively ignore conflict – this is usually counterproductive unless it is used for cooling off before addressing the conflict or for minor issues.
  2. Competition – pursuing only own goals – this is productive for only one person, it is a win-lose situation.
  3. Accommodation – defer to others – this is productive for the other person, it is a lose-win situation and tends to build resentment.
  4. Compromise – give and take – this is a productive style and can be thought of as the middle ground where each party wins some and loses some.  Compromise is the most common (positive) style of solving conflict.
  5. Collaboration – finding a new alternative together – this is a win-win where both parties walk away feeling they gained something, but it takes time and is difficult to achieve. Collaboration leads to the best outcomes for both parties in a conflict.

Fisher and Ury developed Principled Negotiations, which is a collaboration style of resolving conflict with four action items that are illustrated in the graphic below; separate the people from the problem, focus on interests, not positions, invent options for mutual gain, and use objective criteria for resolution. An example of a position is pro tax increase; the interests for that position might be fairness for all citizens or support for public servants.  By focusing on the interests or motivations behind the positions of each party, it opens up possibility of options for mutual gain.

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Source: sachachua.com

Of course, even after we have refreshed our memory on the nature of conflict and resolution, we still need to prepare for a specific conflict. Sometimes we know in advance that we will be facing conflict. Then we can prepare by figuring out exactly what we want, what the other party wants (to the best of our knowledge), what we are willing to give away, and lastly what options we have if negotiations fail. Other times we walk into a conflict in the moment and need to gather our thoughts and composure on the spot. In these cases, our ability to be with discomfort is as important as our critical thinking. This takes practice.

Any time we are upset at things that doesn’t go our way, we have the opportunity to try and be our best selves in that moment. One technique for doing so is Tara Brach’s RAIN.

R stands for recognize – pause, take a breath, focus inward and become aware of what is happening inside of you at this very moment. I find it helpful to name it – upset, anger, tension, or fear.

A stands for allow – instead of trying to push away the discomfort, just allow it to be.

I stands for investigate – kindly look at your inner experience from a higher perspective to discover what is being triggered in you and what patterns you see.

N stands for non-identification – realize that you are not your current feelings and that, like everything else in this universe, the current situation is not permanent.

This RAIN technique takes just a moment, and it can create a major shift in perspective that allows you to be more open-minded and openhearted, while still advocating for yourself during a conflict.

To further develop your conflict resolution techniques, you can refer to negotiation expert William Ury’s new book, Getting to Yes with Yourself and the six steps he recommends.

As we all face conflicts, some big and some small, bringing our best self forward by being present with discomfort and brushing up our resolution techniques can help us consciously connect with fellow humans.

Three Foundations of Presenting with Technology

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Whether it is a project update to a team, a sales pitch, or a conference engagement, as business professionals we are often asked to speak with a presentation. Coaching on how to do this effectively is at the heart of my passion and work, which I share with others through workshops and 1:1 training. My coaching on this topic highlights three fundamentals: start with a narrative; create a visual presentation; be the center of audience attention.

Start with a Narrative

Develop your story outside of PowerPoint. The worse thing you can do is open PowerPoint or Keynote or Prezi and start creating your presentation. You will most likely end up with a string of facts that has no narrative structure. Narrative structure is what helps people remember what you said. It is much better to first create your story in a traditional paper outline or hand-drawn storyboard. Your story needs to include a description of your audience and a statement of what they will get from listening to you. It also needs a clear beginning, middle, and end. In simple terms, the beginning defines the story conflict, the middle explores that conflict, and the end resolves the conflict. A conflict can be as simple as the audience not clearly understanding your topic or as intense as the audience needing to take action to stop impending doom. Creating a detailed outline of your story before creating a presentation makes your narrative strong as a stand-alone piece. This is a critical element to effectively presenting with technology. Your story should be awesome without a presentation!

Creating a Visual Presentation

People learn better with a combination of pictures and words (Dr. Mayer, Cambridge Handbook of Multimedia Learning). Dr. Mayer’s research along with Dr. Alley’s research and others, gives us clear guidelines we can use to create presentations that help people remember what is shared. Here’s the quick recipe: create each slide with a concise declarative full-sentence headline, and visual evidence to support that main idea. Minimize text by placing explanations in the Notes section to deliver verbally, not on the slide. As a whole, your presentation needs to reflect your narrative, so it is helpful to start off with an introduction slide or visual agenda incorporating the main idea and previews to all main ideas. From there, take your key outline points and create section starters. Each sub-point from your narrative fits within the main ideas as a slide within the one of your sections. Start by creating a presentation with just headlines on the slides and explanations in the Notes. Then go find, take, or create visuals to support the ideas. Remember, less is more. Not all your ideas need slides and every slide only need one visual.

Be the Center of Attention

You are the storyteller and the presentation is your visual aid. Presenters who get this relationship reversed give boring presentations. You want the audience looking at and listening to you; only occasionally do you want them looking at the presentation to better understand the information you are sharing. Practicing your entire story without your presentation is one way to stay the center of attention. Your confidence will increase and your audience will trust your delivery. When speaking, stand/sit confidently and use your modulating voice, facial expressions, and hand motions to engage your audience. As you are giving the presentation, I recommend starting each slide by silently reading your full-sentence headline to yourself, so that your audience has the time to do the same. Then dive into your explanation assuming that the audience will garner supporting evidence from your visual. Sometimes it is helpful to refer directly to the slide – such as the ‘the green bar on the right shows growth in the last quarter’ or ‘you can see by the picture that housing is developing along the transit line.’ To ensure that the narrative structure comes through in your delivery, preview all your key points up front, verbally remind people of all sections and the main point of the current section every time you start a new section, and summarize all key points and articulate what the audience received by listening to you at the end.

Keeping the three foundations top of mind will help you effectively communicate with presentations. First, create and practice a compelling stand-alone story. Second, develop a visual presentation that holds the narrative and has slides with declarative full-sentence headlines supported by a visual. Third, remain the center of attention when you deliver the presentation. May all your presentations be engaging!

Resolve to Be Mindful

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Happy New Year! We are all starting off 2016 with different resolutions, be that improved productivity, reduced stress, healthier body, or more enjoyment. The research is now overwhelming that core to our wellbeing, and the basis for achieving our resolutions, is mindfulness. Mindfulness is the ability to be present moment-to-moment and simply notice new things.

Ellen Langer and Jon Kabat-Zinn have been studying mindfulness for decades and demonstrated myriads of positive effects. Research shows that mindfulness can alleviate suffering associated with physical, psychosomatic and psychiatric disorders, improve your health, slow aging, and improve relationships with others.

A telling overview comes from the review of 52 pieces of research:

“Both basic and clinical research indicate that cultivating a more mindful way of being is associated with less emotional distress, more positive states of mind, and better quality of life. In addition, mindfulness practice can influence the brain, the autonomic nervous system, stress hormones, the immune system, and health behaviors, including eating, sleeping and substance use, in salutary ways.”

With all the evidence, it is clear that making mindfulness the first resolution for 2016 will allow all the other resolutions to fall into place.

Two more recent pieces of research:

1) Mind wandering makes us unhappy

The Greater Good wrote up research in 2013 that Matt Killingsworth conducted in his doctoral program at Harvard University through an iPhone app called trackyourhappiness.org. The study gathered 650,000 real time reports of 150,000 people on happiness. The research found that when people are paying attention to something other than what they are doing in the moment, they are significantly less happy. Unfortunately, except for during sex, people had wandering minds on average 47% of the time. During sex it was only 10% of the time J.

2) Meditation actually changes the brain

Washington Post in May 2015 wrote about Susan Lazar’s et al research using Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (FMRI) out of Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School, which showed that long-term meditators have more brain gray matter. Meditation has positive effects on four regions of the brain, as shown in FMRI:

  1. Posterior cingulate, which is involved in mind wandering, and self relevance
  2. The left hippocampus, which assists in learning, cognition, memory and emotional regulation
  3. The temporo parietal junction (TPJ), which is associated with perspective taking, empathy, and compassion
  4. The Pons, where a lot of regulatory neurotransmitters are produced

Meditation also reduces the size of the amygdala, the fight or flight part of the brain, which is important for anxiety, fear and stress.

With all this positive research on mindfulness, here is a quick reminder of ways we can all practice being more mindful:

1) Meditate On Your Breath – the simple process of paying attention to the breath, which is always there and available, brings our focus to now. In-out-in-out. Practicing this for a few minutes in quiet time every day gives us the skill to use the breath as a grounding element throughout our days, especially when tension rises.

2) Simply Notice New Things – keeping a curious mind helps us remember that we don’t actually know what is going to happen next in life. How fun is that? Everything is always changing and everything looks different from different perspectives. We can just observe what arises and be curious about it without judgment.

3) Pay Attention to Your Body – a quick scan of your belly and your shoulders will tell you plenty about your current state in the moment. Pausing and listening to our bodies makes us mindful of what is happening now. It gives us information about our reactivity and makes us aware of the choices we have in our words and actions.

Make as many New Years resolutions as you like, but make sure the first resolution is to be mindful. May your 2016 be filled moments of noticing something new.