Diminish Intimidation with Confidence

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We have all found ourselves in a room with people who interrupt, raise their voice, avoid eye contact, or speak around us rather than to us. These behaviors can feel destabilizing, especially when we are doing good work and care about being taken seriously. When we show up with confidence and skillful communication, we diminish the impact of intimidation.

Start Grounded in Confidence

The feeling of intimidation can originate from the stories we tell ourselves: They’re more senior than I am. Maybe my input isn’t that important. When we notice those thoughts and rationally challenge them, they lose their hold. We are in these conversations because someone believed we belonged there. Our role may differ from others in the room, but our presence still has purpose. Sometimes our value comes from expertise or preparation. Other times it comes from listening carefully, connecting ideas, or supporting the team. When we remind ourselves of the value we bring before a challenging interaction, we enter with steadier footing.

Practical Tips:

  • Remember we belong in the room we were invited into.
  • Write down the value we bring, just before we enter the interaction.
  • Recall past success to get a confidence boost.

Hold Our Own Without Escalating

When someone uses intimidation, matching their intensity rarely improves the situation. Staying calm—especially in the face of strong emotion—signals confidence and control. Our nonverbal communication often speaks louder than our words. Upright posture, steady eye contact, and measured speech communicate that we are present and not easily pushed aside. If we are interrupted, we can calmly and respectfully reclaim the space. When others are being overlooked, lending our voice to reinforce their credibility can also shift the dynamic and create allies in the room.

Practical Tips:

  • Sit upright and face the speaker squarely.
  • Speak slowly, with a neutral tone and controlled volume.
  • If interrupted, say calmly: “I appreciate being able to finish my thought.”
  • After a sharp remark, allow a long pause to let the comment land.
  • Support colleagues: “I’ll let [Name] answer—they led this work.”

Move the Interaction Toward Shared Purpose

Even in intimidating moments, most of us still want the same thing: progress, clarity, and strong outcomes. Once the intensity eases, we can help reset the interaction by emphasizing common goals and shared concerns. Acknowledging emotion without amplifying it often lowers defenses and opens space for collaboration.

Practical Tips:

  • Acknowledge the speaker’s perspective: “I can see this is important to you, and it matters to all of us.”
  • Ask clarifying questions of the speaker: “What part concerns you most?”
  • Redirect toward collaboration: “There are a few ways to approach this—perhaps we can hear additional perspectives.”

Choose Our Response

There is power in knowing we have control over our response, regardless of feelings that arise. Intimidation can trigger fear, frustration, or self-doubt. Those reactions are human. Being mindful, we can notice those feelings without letting them dictate our behavior. When we pause, breathe, and choose our response intentionally, we retain our agency—even in uneven power dynamics.

Practical Tips:

  • Notice the emotion as it arises, take a breath, and name it internally.
  • Take another breath and remember we choose our response.
  • Let the feeling pass and respond in alignment with our goals and values.

A Closing Thought

When we enter with confidence, hold our ground calmly, and redirect conversations toward shared purpose, we demonstrate emotional intelligence and quiet leadership—regardless of our title. Intimidation loses its power when we stay anchored in who we are and the value we bring.