We have all found ourselves in a room with people who interrupt, raise their voice, avoid eye contact, or speak around us rather than to us. These behaviors can feel destabilizing, especially when we are doing good work and care about being taken seriously. When we show up with confidence and skillful communication, we diminish the impact of intimidation. […]
Needing a reminder that life is a shaped by perspective, I recently played Both Sides Now by Judy Collins on repeat for a solid day. In every situation, we get to choose how we view and respond to experiences. Those choices shape the quality of our lives, no matter the external circumstances. In this Thanksgiving […]
Everything that comes out of our mouth begins in our mind. Thoughts stream through our consciousness like a stock ticker — constant, shifting, and often unnoticed. The good news is, we can shape this mental flow to improve communication. By setting intentions and filtering thoughts, we gain influence over what leaves our lips. Setting intentions gives our mind direction. […]
Yelling, throwing things, verbally assaulting others – these are behaviors we sometimes see at work, though we wish we didn’t. While we know these emotional outbursts are inappropriate and cannot be tolerated long-term, they still need to be handled in that very moment. Many of our instinctual responses may not be the best communication, as […]
Have you ever noticed that we can tell the nature of a conversation from across the room or even if people are speaking a different language? By simply watching a conversation as if it were a silent movie, we can pick up so much meaning. We can tell if people are getting along or disagreeing […]
Many of us naturally ‘talk with our hands’ as we speak, adding more meaning and emphasis to what we are saying. On the other hand (pun intended), we have all at times been needlessly distracted by speakers who flail their hands in repetitive motions. In order to garner improved audience response, our hand motions should […]
Even the best speakers give better speeches and feel more confident when they work with a coach. I get the privilege of working with smart amazing professionals, many of whom have been giving speeches for years. It is a myth that only those who struggle with communication benefit from working with a coach. What do […]
Our speech is one thing we can control in a world where much is outside of our control. Our choice to use wise speech, particularly at times of discord, has a positive ripple effect across those we encounter and beyond. Wise speech is a focus of stoicism wherein the core principle of a good life […]
Having a pocket full of stories can boost our confidence and increase our fun at networking events. Most of us, when walking into a crowded room, have a bit of trepidation. We want to be there to meet interesting people, yet we may not be sure who to approach or what to say. This is where […]
I have been noticing acts of kindness happening all around me lately. It is a good reminder that we communicate through our actions. I have seen small acts of kindness, like picking up other people‘s trash and giving pedestrians plenty of room and time to cross the street. I have seen grand acts of kindness […]
Getting on stage or standing in front of a conference room can be a nerve-wracking experience. Once we’ve figured out what to say and how to speak eloquently, the next hurdle is what to do with our hands and our feet. We know that nonverbal communication is up to 85% of the message we communicate, […]
Communicators with a growth mindset elevate their performance more quickly. Excellent speakers and superb leaders continuously build on their aptitude. I saw this recently with a founder of a financial firm who had been speaking on stage for decades and still boosted their performance with a growth mindset and dedicated practice. A growth mindset, conceived […]
Like everything in life, when we practice speaking, we get better. We don’t get perfect, but that is not what we are striving for. Perfect sounds fake and looks impersonal. Better is about highlighting our natural talents and employing a few audience-engaging techniques such as voice variation, pauses, and meaningful body language. We get the […]
We have all been impressed by somebody who is well poised and captivates the room when speaking. We too can be poised and influence others by deliberately using our body language to improve communication. When seeking to get others to understand our point of view, our tendency is to focus on content. We take the […]
Collaboration, that highly touted process by which humans innovate, happens through communication. Bright minds playing off each other generate more ideas and better outcomes. Both the structure and the content of collaboration hinge on effective communication. When communication fails, so does collaboration and instead of innovation, we get conflict and stifled voices. Collaboration is the […]
On the jenniferkammeyer.com blog we have explored many aspects of effective listening and now I invite you to watch a short 4-minute video called A Little Lesson on Listening.
We all desire connection, have innate curiosity, and feel gratitude. We can leverage these three human qualities to improve our listening skills and increase engagement. Connectedness Our innate desire for connection with others is a lever we can pull to increase our listening engagement. Thinking of how our fellow conversationalists might have similar interests or […]
That wonderful feeling of being seen and respected when somebody is listening attentively is a source of positive energy. It is a gift being shared. We can give this gift by developing our attention-directing skills in listening. Listening is the process of concentrating on someone speaking and it includes affective, cognitive, and behavioral components. Attention […]
We may think of listening as a silent activity, but good listening includes a surprising number of verbal responses. It is helpful to think of listening as distinct components so we can analyze our own listening skills and recognize good listening in others. Listening, the process of paying full attention to someone speaking, includes three […]
Practicing the art of listening when we are not engaged in conversation is like practicing a musical instrument before a performance – it makes us better. We can think of it as training our ears and our attention. There are many opportunities in everyday life to do this and I will highlight three of my […]
Our body language is an important element of listening. Nonverbal communication, commonly called body language, is over 50% of the message we send to others. Research shows that if our spoken words and body language are out of sync, that people will believe what our body communicates, not what we are saying. We have all […]
Listening with curiosity allows us to be empathetic and focus more on others than ourselves. Recently while getting yelled at, the thought crossed my mind, “I wonder what is going on for this person that they are raising their voice?” In this moment, I was practicing empathetic listening and was able to focus on curiosity […]
Just like wearing colored glasses changes how we see things, our listening lens changes how we hear things. We all hear something different through our own particular listening lens. Our listening lens is created by the sum total of all we have learned and experienced in our lives. This lens shapes how we take in […]
What they are hearing?, I ponder when I see a rabbit darting down a country road with ears perked and pivoting. The visual reminds me of active listening, a skill many of us are still perfecting. In this year of the Water Rabbit, when we can expect calm and reflection, I will focus my research […]
Reading out loud the names of fallen soldiers this Memorial Day as I walk through the cemetery, I hear the bravery of those who gave their lives for our freedom and the sorrow of those who lost their loved ones. They no longer speak, but we can still hear the meaning of their sacrifice as […]
In times of great personal and community suffering, we can ease others’ pain through listening, through bearing witness to their experience. We encounter others’ distress through social media, but we also encounter it at work as we hear stories of our colleagues going through hard times. This blog was motivated by my personal encounters of […]
Teamwork is helpful but hard – and virtual teamwork is even harder. In an increasingly distributed work environment, more explicit communication is required in virtual teams to make up for the missing subtle communication that automatically occurs when in person. When teams are effective, the outcomes are impressive. Research shows effective teams generate better solutions […]
Our world needs kind leaders who create progress, and John J. Kelly was one such leader helping people improve their lives. The recently published book, The Quintessential Good Samaritan, tells of John Kelly’s life work in making a difference in the lives of so many people. Through many engaging stories we learn of his compassionate […]
We are embarking on a new year – what kinds of goals have you set for yourself? Setting big audacious goals and expecting quick results is tempting but can cause us to fail with inaction because we become overwhelmed by the enormity of them. Breaking those goals into smaller increments – and setting the expectation […]
Oh, the joy of having somebody fully in the moment with us, hanging on every word, entirely focused. This year, we can give the ultimate gift – our time and full presence. I am lucky to have had the most wonderful mom in the world, and one thing she is remembered for is how she […]
Often we think of expressing our gratitude in heartfelt prose, but small bites of appreciation shared frequently helps strengthen relationships and improve morale. During this time of the Great Resignation we hear stories of people leaving their jobs because they are not happy. While pay and working conditions are at play, a sense of purpose, aligned […]
We have all had the experience of reading or hearing something and having no idea what it means, making us either feel stupid or stop paying attention or both. Good communicators use simple language to help others understand their message, especially when communicating complex or technical topics. Just yesterday I read on my Twitter feed, […]
Fear of public speaking, conflict avoidance, dread of delivering bad new – many communication interactions can lead us to a sense of discomfort. Handling these tough interactions skillfully requires us practicing in order to get more comfortable with the discomfort. What typically happens is that emotions arise that throw us out of our prefrontal cortex […]
Full participation makes for better meetings – and we all want better meetings. As leaders we gain full participation by adhering to basic meeting best practices and through inclusive communication techniques; as participants we contribute more with preparation. Inclusive Leadership To make meetings better as leaders we need to apply discipline in the basics of […]
We subconsciously adjust our communication styles to match the people we are around; shifting that to a conscious effort is a communication skill that improves interactions but can raise the fear of being phony. Understanding the communication tactic and being clear on our purpose helps us to match others’ styles without losing our own. Consider […]